Emotional Struggle

The last couple of days I've been having an internal, emotional struggle. Could I leave my baby? When he gets here, will I be able to leave the house with him in it and go to work? I considered watching kids in the house, just so I could be with him all day. I considered cutting every non-essential out of our lives so I could stay home with him.

Then I had to think about what is best for him and our family. Max and my work schedules work out so that Carter would only be with my Mom 8 hours a week, maximum. The other 12-17 hours a week I would be at work he would be with his Dad. How could I deny my husband time with his son, alone? How could I be selfish and deprive our family of things we need when Carter will benefit from spending time with his Mema and one-on-one time with his Daddy?

I'm sure this will come up again but as things stand now, the benefits of having my son at my side 24/7 instead of his Dad's or Mema's don't outweigh the benefits of me working part-time, getting adult interaction, helping provide for our family and getting a baby break.

If Max gets a full-time/better paying job, we will revisit the question then. I LOVE this little baby boy so much and it will rip my heart out to leave him to go to work, but part of being a parent is making tough choices and doing what's best for them. Guess this is just one of the many to come.

25 weeks

Pregnancy Highlights:

How Far Along: 25 weeks

Size of baby: 1 lb 5 oz at the ultrasound. Some sites say babies gain between 3-6 oz a week now so probably between 1 lb 8 oz and 1 lb 11 oz.

Total Weight Gain/Loss: 12 pounds lost

Maternity Clothes: Maternity pants and long shirts

Gender: All Boy!

Movement: My belly has started doing the wave when I'm laying down! I think he is facing my back since I feel him move all the time but not so much the punches and kicks outward like before.  
Sleep: What's that?

Symptoms: emotional and needy, oops! 

What I miss: getting restful sleep

Cravings: chocolate and lemonheads

Best Moment this week: Just seeing him move more and more and knowing that we're almost to the third trimester! Mom touched my belly for the first time today. During a song about children being a precious gift from God, yeah, I cried, for awhile.

Looking Forward Too: Seeing him with our families.

24 weeks!

Pregnancy Highlights:

How Far Along: 24 weeks

Size of baby: 1 lb 5 oz at the ultrasound. Not sure on length.

Total Weight Gain/Loss: 12 pounds lost

Maternity Clothes: Maternity pants and long shirts 

Gender: All Boy!

Movement: I don't think this little boy sleeps at all! He's always rocking and rolling in there. I'm gonna try and get him kicking on video so you can see our small but mighty one moving! 
Sleep: Rough, rough, rough! I can't seem to get comfortable at all, if I lay on my side too long without support under my belly it feels like I pulled muscles or ligaments inmy uterus....

Symptoms: Just the pains of pregnancy.Now it's hard to stand up from a squatting position, especially while holding a cat or dog. 

What I miss: Good sleep

Cravings: Nothing, it's hard to eat.

Best Moment this week: Seeing his sweet little face.

Looking Forward Too: Everything! I can't wait for the baby shower, to start really showing, to hold him and kiss him and all the things, good, bad and smelly, that come with a newborn.

 

I'll add a belly picture later, probably tomorrow.

Details

Now that I've not only had time to process it but have time to sit down and write up a post.

I'm not quite sure how to explain it but none of us were convinced that baby was a girl. I was driving Max crazy by looking at ultrasound pictures online for weeks trying to convince myself that he was a she. Not because I wanted a girl but because I wanted to know. I've been having a hard time buying or even looking at baby girl things. It just felt wrong. That being said, seeing his little package was a shock. It took a minute to say, ok, that's our son in there. Not a little girl. Do I miss the idea of having a daughter? I'd be lieing if I said no way. BUT, now I get to look forward to having a Mommy's Boy.

Ok, so details on the ultrasound. He is head down still. Chin still tucked into his chest real tight, the tech kinda laughed at how tight he has his chin tucked in. Saw all four chambers of his heart. Elbow up next to his eye, umbilical cord floating in front of his face. His weight is approxiametly 1 lb 5 oz. 43 percentile so slightly below average. Still had his ankles crossed. On the video it looks like the placenta is lying really low so I'm slightly concerned about it covering my cervix and having to have a c-section but I'll find out at my next doctors appointment in two weeks. Nothing I can do about it if it is there, so why stress about it now?

Now just to get ready for our baby boy, who's name is going to be Carter Michael. I'm in love and can't wait to meet him!

Real Quick Update

Here's some pictures of our baby BOY! We are totally in love, plus he has my nose ;-)

Fear?

With the anatomy scan quickly approaching I'm nervous! Mostly since we've done NO testing at all. It will be our first good look at the little one. I just want to see all body parts and for everything to measure correctly!

Oh, and I'm nervous that we'll hear we're having a boy. Not that it would be bad but I've spent over a month "knowing" this is a little girl and it would stink for it to change.

23 weeks and 2 days

Pregnancy Highlights:

How Far Along: 23 weeks

Size of baby: Average over 11 inches, head to foot. Weighing in at around one pound!

Total Weight Gain/Loss: 12 pounds lost

Maternity Clothes: Still fit into one or two pairs of pre-preg. jeans but have to have them unbuttoned.

Gender: Girl!

Movement: When I sit still I can feel her a lot more and can SEE movement while laying down. It's so neat to see her flip and roll!
Sleep: It's getting harder to breathe so laying in a comfortable position is difficult. I keep waking up on my back, which I know is a no-no and my body obviously agrees.

Symptoms: Harder to breathe, tailbone pain, emotional and feeling like any food I eat is sitting in my throat.

Throw up tally: 0

What I miss: Eating

Cravings: Any and all carbs

Best Moment this week: Feeling her moving all the time.

Looking Forward Too: The anatomy scan in 41 hours!