I was contemplating writing a post recapping 2011. I was thinking about what a wonderful, amazing year it was. Preparing for our son and welcoming his arrival, learning how to be a mommy right along side him learning to be a person and Max learning to be a daddy. Sure, there were parts of last year that sucked, the constant struggle to pay the bills, losing our beloved (albeit annoying) doxie, job loses, diabetes, and other random acts of unfortunate circumstances.
Yet none of that mattered! What mattered were the moments with my family, watching my son’s heart beat on that screen for the very first time, feeling those first few movements, finding out he was a she then finding out he was a he, picking a name, buying his equipment and supplies, preparing our lives for such a massive responsibility.
Anxiously waiting those last couple of weeks, laying in bed and my water breaking, running around like wild boars to get to the hospital within the hour we were told, enduring all-reasoning-thoughts-useless contractions, seeing my baby boy for the first time, hearing his sweet cries, nursing him for the first time.
Getting to know my precious son, sleepless nights, mindless days, visits with loved ones, innocent baths, first smile and laugh. Watching him grow and learn, how to roll over, grasp things, discover his feet.
Those are the things that come to my mind when I look back on 2011. Those are the things I hope to hold onto forever, when things get hard with Carter, with being a mother, I hope I can look back on these precious moments, this perfect point in time and revel in these feelings.
No matter what goes wrong, as long as I hold onto these memories, I’ll make it through. I was made to be a mother and now that I am, I can’t imagine life any other way. Carter filled a hole in my life I knew was there, I just didn’t realize how big it was.