Wednesday, February 15, 2012

#2?

I have a slight problem. I think after all those years of trying, hoping, praying, waiting, longing and tears while waiting for Carter, I got a bit obsessed with all things trying to conceive, pregnancy and baby. I’m having a hard time pushing down the desire to be pregnant again and try. Don’t worry, we’re still breastfeeding, my cycle hasn’t returned and I’m on birth control. That doesn’t mean I’m not fighting the desire to take a test, hear a little heartbeat, have ultrasounds, prepare for a baby. 
I’m trying to focus on the little baby I currently have. He’s grown so much and has come so far from being a newborn but he’s still a sweet, innocent, deliciously adorable baby. I’m trying to focus on things to buy him, things to make for him, ways to help him learn and grow. I’m also trying to decide the right timing for our next baby. Do I wait until we are in a house we’re buying, do I wait until I can stay home, do I wait until Carter is out of diapers? Our apartment would work for two babies, we actually already know how the nursery would be set up with two babies and are buying a second dresser. Not for a second baby but because the one we just bought would make an awesome storage for diapers and the matching one would work better for Carter’s clothes. :-) I’m not sure if I will ever be able to stay home with my babies, especially when thinking about health care for our family.
There are some things that I feel aren’t an option to not have done before another baby. We have to have money in savings and be almost out of debt, if not all the way. We have to be working on getting a second reliable car because I hate having Carter in our second car now. We have to have money saved up for my maternity leave and hopefully Max will be able to take some time off when the next baby is born so we’ll have to have money to cover that as well.
As far as age difference, I would really like to breastfeed Carter until he’s 18 months old or older. I know that pregnancy can interfere with breastfeeding so would like to wait until after we’re done to get pregnant again. So I’m thinking 2.5-3 years difference. So I’ve got plenty of time to just enjoy my baby boy and spoil him rotten before #2 comes along. Deep down I know this is for the best and what my family needs and it takes the edge off the fever a bit.

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