Friday, November 16, 2012
We are going to meet with a credit counselor and hopefully have some help and advice on what we need to do to own our own home. Hopefully we get good news, or at least encouragement, instead of bad news that could potentially keep us from owning a home for several more years. Let's try to keep positive though!
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
My eating was pretty bad this week.... I really need to go on a reduced carb diet for my PCOS and with being gluten free it should be fairly easy but I'm struggling to give up my goodies. I need to remind myself that those things are spossed to be treats, not every thing I eat.
So this week I'm going to work on eating better and on a schedule. Drinking a gallon of water everyday. Working out everyday, getting out of the house every other day and going for a walk as weather allows. I have a coat ordered that will make it so I can carry Carter in the Beco in cold weather and both of us will be warm and dry.
In line with that, we are looking at adding a small dog to our family (I know my last post said not until we buy a house but that may be further off then we hoped and Carter needs a dog in his life.) So I'll have a need to walk the little guy everyday.
Monday, November 12, 2012
1) He points to the picture of him and my mom on the wall and says "Mema"
2) He will squat down and then jump up and run
3) He likes to squat a little bit and pivot on his foot and turn in circles
4) He loves to run in circles laughing
5) He's started doing the hand signals for "Skinnymarrinkydinkydink"
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Monday I started on a new journey for me. I'm calling it "Time to Trim", an overhaul on my life habits,eating habits, exercise habits, outlook, etc. So I'm going to have a theme for everyday of the week to help motivate me to post and also plan to post on other things as they come up.
I'm going to be overhauling the dog blog as well, even though we're currently dogless. We are hoping to get out of debt, simultaneously build our credit and buy a house hopefully within the year.
I'm still working on the names and idea behind each day. So far I have:
Milestone Monday - Document new milestones Carter reaches as he reaches them and some pictures of him.
Trimming Tuesday - My weigh in for the week and how I'm doing on my plan, what exercises I did thoughout the week and any stumbles I had and ways I can improve.
Wordless Wednesday - Picture or pictures with no words, will probably be of Carter.
Thirsty Thursday - I've started drinking green smoothies and making Carter homemade juice and would like to document what works, what doesn't, what we all like and don't like and the nutritional benefits of each smoothie.
Financial Friday - What steps we've taken to reach our financial goals and what we have planned for the next week.
Saturday and Sunday will be free days to write about what I like. Celebrate life and an overview of how I did the past week and what I hope to accomplish the coming week. I will try to be open but not too open, a balance I've struggled with in the past.
Time to Trim: My goal is to control my PCOS with my diet and exercise, lose weight, be more active and feel better about myself in my skin. I want to be able to go to the park and run with my son, meet whatever dog we get's activity level with exercise, feel good about my body and actually look pregnant with my next pregnancy(ies). I want to be able to have a body that leads to effective labor and delivery and that will allow me to better reach my goal of having a natural med-free birth for the next baby. My goal is to lose 75 pounds, overall. Depending on when our next pregnancy occurs, it will likely not be a direct path but that's what I would like to reach.
Financial Goals: We have a substantial amount of debt, including medical expenses and student loans. Our student loans will not be included in my measurements but we will be paying on them (even though we're still in school) to help build our credit and lower our debt to income ratio. I will not be posting amounts but will be posting percentages. So if we pay off X amount of dollars in debt for that week, I will calculate the percentage of debt and add it up for an overall total. We hope to buy a home and I would love to one day be a breeder keeper and raise litters for the first 8 weeks for Canine Angels. Max would like a doberman so that's what I'm planning on being our "homeowner dog" since we can't have one in our apartment. We are not planning on getting a dog before that unless it is a service dog in training. So financially we hope to do the following:
- Get out of debt
- Improve our credit
- Have a 3 month emergency fund in savings
- Have a down payment in savings
- Buy a home
- Have 12 months worth of emergency funds in savings
- Pay off student loans
Walking: He started walking when he was 12 months old. Now at 14.5 months he's a crazy kid, running and trying to jump and climb and wants to walk everywhere by himself. The only issue is he doesn't really like going where we're going, he wants to go see all the fun things and climb up and down stairs and the like. He's really good about holding my hand at this point but we're working on going where Mommy wants instead of baby.
Talking: This child talks a lot. He loves to talk and say new words. I think I've counted 25+ words he's said but he uses probably 15-20 on a regular basis. He still uses sign language and just learned three new signs, on top of milk. I think my favorite word to hear him say is "outside." It's so cute!
Outside: Carter LOVES to play outside! I try and get him out of the house everyday but with the rain starting it's proving to be more difficult. I think we may get a membership to an indoor play/learning center for the winter months.
Favorites: He loves the cat, dogs, to take baths, to play "dress up", to put lids on containers, put things in containers, music, he absolutely loves music and to sing and dance. He loves books and will sit and read to himself.
Other updates: He's learned that if he wants something he just picks up whatever it is and shoves it in my lap, i.e. his sippy cup if he wants a drink, a book if he wants to read a story, shoes if he wants to go "bye bye", etc.
Challenges: Sleep is still a major challenge. He's sleeping well in his crib but it's tough to get him to sleep for naps and bed time. He doesn't normally nurse to sleep anymore but he will eventually just come ask for some cuddles and will fall asleep cuddled up to me.
Another major challenge is the tantrums, they are much worse when he's tired. He learned to hit, I think from splashing in the tub, I'm not sure really, and will hit and bite and scream if he's tired and wants something and I tell him no or just don't get it fast enough. He goes in timeout after I explain to him why, sits there for a minute and then gets to get up and give me a hug and say "sorry". He's said it once but I don't wait for him to say it every time since it doesn't count as an actual word yet since he just repeated it. I hope this is just a phase he's going through and will be over soon.
Overall this is a fun, exciting age. He learns something new everyday, is full of curiosity and trouble. He is such a fun little boy, full of energy and life and love. He gives the best hugs and kisses, he wraps his little arms around my neck, puts his head on my shoulder and runs his hands through my hair.
I honestly love being this little boys mommy so much. He lights up my life and makes it so much brighter and fuller!
Monday, August 27, 2012
He is not a very good sleeper. He stays up late, wakes up a couple times at night and sleeps in. Then he'll take a nap late in the day and start the whole cycle over again. Right now he's napping at 10 am because he woke up early around 8:30. Hopefully he'll take an earlier than 4 afternoon nap and go to bed before 10:45. I think he's just so busy playing and learning and developing that he doesn't go to sleep until he basically passes out but he won't go to sleep unless he's ready. I can try and try and try but until he chooses, he's not going to sleep. I'm going to get some sleep training books and see what works for us. I can't do cry-it-out but I feel responsible because his sleep issues started when I went to work. Before that he slept great.
He now has 6 teeth, 4 on top and 2 on bottom. He's working on more right now and is in so much pain, my poor boy.
Monday, July 30, 2012
I'm adjusting to living in a larger city. I really enjoy having everything within a couple of minutes. I love the thought of getting to decide what hospital to deliver our next baby at. I love our new congregation and our apartment.
What I don't like is that I spend most of my days at home. I haven't made any friends yet, hopefully the coming weeks I'll get closer to some of our fellow believers, and I have a hard time with Carter's horrible sleep habits, getting out for walks and other activities.
I plan on starting to go for daily walks and exercise daily and take better care of myself, do my hair and makeup and what not.
I miss having a dog in the house but I'm not where near ready to get another dog. When we do get another dog, we will start with puppy sitting/fostering and then puppy raising. I don't see us having another pet dog for a couple of years. Neither one of us are ready and we know we wouldn't be able to give a pet dog a great home and that's what we want to do.
No news on Eva yet, beyond what we found online, that they are working on getting her a diagnosis. I feel like her tough early months made me jaded, I couldn't see her for what shape she was in currently, all I could see what that tiny little puppy trying to die in my home. It's a hard thing to do, to admit that you aren't the right place for an animal you love, but I'm happy I did and she's getting an unbiased opinion and help.
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
At one point, not too long ago, I wondered if I would ever have a baby. Would I ever become a mommy? Would I ever feel a little womb baby kicking and moving in my belly? Would I ever hold a warm, wiggly newborn on my chest and feel that overwhelming love and disbelief? Would I ever deal with sleep deprivation and midnight feedings, diaper changes and rocking sessions? When I saw those lines, when I saw my little bug on that first ultrasound and heard his heartbeat for the first time, I started to believe.
When I had my baby boy, I realized one dream. But I quickly lost another. I had to return to work. I dreamed I would be able to stay home and here I am, it's taken sacrifices, lots of them, but I'm here. It's far better then I ever imagined it could be!
I do a lot of food prep, mostly cutting up fresh fruits and veggies, a lot of dishes and picking up after my little tornado is done pulling everything he can reach off of it's perch, a lot of vacuuming, sweeping, mopping, vacuuming, etc. It's the moments when Carter is crawling around playing and decides he needs his mommy and will come up to me, lay his head on my arm or lap and smile. It's when he sees me a squeals and gets the biggest, cheesiest smile on his face. It's watching him learn and grow and develop new skills and tricks. It's knowing exactly what he ate today, exactly how he napped, exactly how he's feeling. It's watching his face as he tries a new food for the first time. Seeing his eyes light up when he realized he just accomplished something he's been working on, like picking up two items in the same hand.
As nice as the paycheck can be from working, as nice as getting away for a little bit of time can be, nothing comes close to these moments. Nothing comes close to knowing that my son no longer gets a bottle, no longer drinks formula, not a drop. He now gets breastmilk only and water in his sippy cup.
Monday, July 2, 2012
A lot has happened since my last post. Max got a job offer quickly and started last week. We moved (post to come on that), Eva went to a golden retriever rescue and Carter turned 10 months old. My emotions have been all over the place but I feel like things are settling down now and I can return to my new normal.
My reason for suggesting we move down south was for me to be able to stay home with Carter. As much as it sucks to have moved away from my family, for me, it sucks even more to be away from Carter all day every day. I've been home for just over a month (for the second time) and there really is nothing else I would rather do. I'm excited to have the chance at a clean slate, the house is mine to organize and decorate and keep clean and tidy, not have to undo everything and redo while trying to function in it as a home.
Eva went to the golden retriever rescue for a couple of reasons. I don't feel like I'm in a place in my life to care for a large dog, or any dog for that matter. I'm dealing with getting my life stable and where I want it. Eva wasn't getting the attention she deserves and needs. That was all a secondary reason though. With the instability of our income, I knew I wouldn't be able to get her into the vets for a full work up and answers. When we took her back we were told it was her kidneys, there wouldn't be abnormal vet costs because there wasn't anything they could do for her and she would likely not see much after her first birthday. She'll be 4 in October. The golden rescue will get answers and either leave her in a permanent foster home or place her with a family who is fully informed on her health and who have the resources to support her and whatever health issues there are. I miss my beautiful golden girl but I had to put my feelings aside and do what was best for her.
No plans at this point to get a new dog or raise. We are closer to Canine Angels kennels so I will probably puppy sit when I'm ready or at least participate on outings. We still have Elijah, he's adjusting to being an inside cat.
Ok, I better go work on unpacking some more and cleaning. Off to Target later and I may start working on our little backyard.
Monday, June 11, 2012
Until Friday. I heard Max pull up an hour before he was supposed to get off work. As I listened to him walk up the stairs with our sleeping baby on my lap, I hoped they just let him out early due to it being a slow Friday. When he opened the door, I knew. Before he even held up the check. His face was gray, body language dejected. He told me what happened, which wasn't much. His boss told him that they didn't need him anymore, it was nothing he did, they just talked and didn't need him.
We had budgeted to live on one income, not none. We have enough money to make it through the next month, after that, who knows. So, desperate times call for desperate measures. Max is applying for jobs locally and up to an hour and a half south of here. I don't want to move away from my mom and sisters, but if that's what we have to do, that's what we have to do. The simple fact is that the economy in our home county is horrible. I know it's bad everywhere, but here, it's nasty. The cost of living is high and family wage jobs are few and far between. South of here, it's much better. The cost of living is a bit lower and rent is comparable. The same jobs as up here pay more and have health benefits.
I may or may not be returning to the work force. Ideally Max will have a job, any job, quickly and I won't need to. However, if needed, I will do what I have to for my family. I think we are still planning on moving, eventually, but for now, we just need an income.
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Yesterday, I was late to work by 10 minutes due to more babysitter problems. Yesterday evening, I was given my final checks and told they were letting me go.
I don't like it when things don't go according to plan but I am so thrilled to get to spend my days taking care of my most precious gift and house. I'm happy that I no longer have to worry about what my son is doing all day, if he's eating, if he's being sat in front of a tv, if I'm going to be able to go to work or have to call in because of problems.
I'm happy. I no longer have to wake my sleeping baby to spend 30 minutes with him before I drop him off and don't see him again for 9 hours. I'm happy that I'm the one who will be making the decisions on his daily care, more so then what I pack in his diaper bag.
It won't even be that big of a difference money-wise since we've been living off one income anyway.
I will never regret staying home with my son. Everyday I worked, I regret. 'Nough said.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
He had an appointment today, he weighs 15 lbs 11 oz and is 26.5 inches long. He's my little peanut but perfectly healthy (aside from probable celiacs).
He's mobile as well! He is crawling, it's so cute to watch him crawl after his ball or the dog or cat. His favorite activity is standing at the coffee table and getting into whatever he can reach. He loves the park and sitting outside and sitting in his stroller. He still fits in his swing, loves bath time and people. He has started reacting when he doesn't want to go to someone, whether he knows them or not. He will turn his head away and pull himself closer to me. If I hand him to someone and he changes his mind he leans and reaches for me. It melts my heart!
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
The daycare arrangements we had didn't work out. Carter was jealous of the nursing time his baby cousin was getting and no one was getting what they needed and it was very unhealthy for all involved. So Tuesday he went and hung out with some friends of ours. Tuesday evening we met with a lady that I had been emailing back and forth with about watching Carter. She came to our house and she put me at ease. Was upfront that her and her fiance were in recovery and this that and the other. So we decided to go to her house, meet her children and fiance. I was desperate to find somewhere for Carter and we didn't have much time, so we agreed to drop him off the next morning. Man, was that the HARDEST thing I've ever had to do! Drop my precious baby boy who is my entire world, off with a stranger I met 12 hours earlier. I bawled as I handed him over, walking to my car, driving to work, sitting in my car outside of work, at my desk, talking to my mom, etc. You get the idea. I was a royal MESS!
Anyway, Wednesday morning when I dropped him off, they asked me if they could pick Carter up a little early since they had to be in town at 8:30. I agreed. I get to work and my dear mother looks up their names in the court dockets. They had to be in town because her fiance had court for drug charges! My initial reaction was I felt sick, I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. I had left my son with someone who had a record, who had drug charges that were active in the court system. I fought my instinct to go and pick Carter up and I made it through the work day. She sent me a lot of pictures of my happy boy smiling and eating.
The next morning I sent her a text that I was going to stay home so they didn't need to pick up Carter. Stay home I did. I could not let my son go to them again. So Thursday I spent calling every phone number I could find for childcare in our area. Most were full on infants or didn't answer. Friday, the plan was for Carter to go visit our friends again but that didn't work out because he woke up sick. So I called into work again. We went and visited a daycare that I loved! It was well organized, fun, enriched learning and exploration. I took home the paperwork and during Carter's nap started filling it out. Then I got a text!
A girl I've known ever since I can remember was willing to watch Carter. It was perfect! Yesterday I dropped him off, I didn't shed one tear all day. I got a picture and video of my sweet baby playing and learning. He was well-fed, rested and happy when he got picked up. This morning when I dropped him off, he was happy to be there. Didn't cry when I left. I'm content, for now, with working and working toward our goals so I can quit and stay home with my son and never have to worry about finding full-time childcare again.
The plan at this point is for my last day to be September 7. We will make the necessary changes in July to our lifestyle choices to allow this to happen and will pay only daycare and my work expenses with my income. All other bills and expenses will be paid with Max's checks to ensure we can survive off his income. I can't wait to stay home with my son but it still feels like it's forever away! I will try to take on some kids to babysit to help with income but am not planning on it financially so that can be "extra" instead of necessary. Maybe I'll take a couple months to just enjoy being home with Carter first. Who knows. All I know is that 35% of my income is going straight to childcare, then factor in the gas, extra car, extra car insurance and work lunches, I don't bring home a ton of money....
Monday, May 7, 2012
No plans as of yet as to when I'll get to quit my job, I am just playing it by ear and planning out what debts can be paid when and what else I can do with the money, like new clothes (that are desperately needed for us adults), decorating the house, getting Carter's pictures done, car repairs, money in savings, etc. It really depends on when we can support ourselves on Max's income alone, without assistance. I could quit my job today and rely on state assistance but I'm not comfortable with it just yet. Who knows, maybe in a couple more months of dropping my baby off everyday with other people, I will be ok with it, but right now, the ability to pay bills and buy some needed things is very nice.
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
I decided that I need to focus on the beautiful dog I do have, work on giving her everything she needs and everything our two-legger needs before adding another mouth to feed. I plan on walking Eva more, getting her spayed and up-to-date on shots and find a solution for her allergies to make her comfortable. We may or may not do further testing, depends on how she does once her allergies are controlled.
I got up an over an hour early this morning and we went on a walk. It was so nice to walk her! She did great walking on just a flat collar and keeping a loose lead and ignored the barking dogs that were fence running. It's my hope to get up and walk her every morning, weather permitting. After Carter nurses and before he wakes up for the day, which leaves it still cool enough in the morning to avoid dying from heat stroke.
I'm surprised by just how mature Eva has gotten. It's been a long 3 years with Eva but I'm hopeful with more attention and work, that we will stop focusing on her problems and focus on what a lovely dog she's become. Once she's where she needs to be, Carter's a little bit older and we live in a house with a yard, we will raise again. No telling when that will be, and we may do some puppy sitting before that point but for now, we need to remain content with the perfect little family we do have.
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
He loves bath time and rubber duckies. Food and anything else he can stick in his mouth. He does great in the car and at bedtime. He puts his arms up to be picked up, gives hugs and will lay his head on my chest when he wants to snuggle. He holds my hands and knows now that I leave everyday and is so happy to see me home in the evenings. He thinks it's funny to talk to me on the phone. He loves dogs and the cat, they can make him laugh just by walking by.
I'm not a runner but I would love to learn how to and avoid shin spilts. I used to get them whenever we ran in school and they were sooo painful! I plan on getting some good walking shoes and a jogging stroller cause it'd be hard to jog with Carter in the wrap!
Sunday, April 15, 2012
We went down for an event yesterday (Saturday) in support of Canine Angels. It was called Dog Days and was amazing! We didn't take Eva, I can't handle her crazy self around other dogs in a large crowd of dogs and since she's not up-to-date on her shots (for now, that's gonna change!) because we were told she's not healthy enough for them, we didn't want to take her around a lot of dogs. We did get to handle Comet's brother, Titan for a little while.
We got to talk to the CAST ladies off and on, they were all busy with the event and we didn't really get there in time to help. It started at 9:20, we left the house a little after 9, had to get gas and it's about an hour and fifteen minute drive.
We donated a little bit of money, bought some tokens and were privy to some information about the next (hopefully) upcoming litter, which we are considering getting a pup from! We had originally said when Carter turns 2 we'd get our next pup but we'll see. There's a lot to think about, including a mobile baby, living in an upstairs apartment, Eva, working full-time, etc. I'm really really wanting a black pup next and since two studs were used, a black lab and a yellow lab, we'll have to see if it's an all yellow litter or some blacks. They would be Comet's half siblings.
Carter loved all the dogs and gave Wyatt some belly rubs.
IF we get a pup from this litter, Eva would be getting spayed, probably will be anyway, up to date on shots and on steroid shots.
Here's the tokens we picked up from the event!
Thursday, April 12, 2012
I'm not proud of every choice I've made in my life, obviously. I've made mistakes. I've said things I regret. Done things I regret. However, overall, I'm proud of my conduct, proud of my actions and words. I can't let the times where I disappoint myself, let my anger get the best of me, get irritated, annoyed and bitter, be what define me.
I'm working hard to look the right direction for help, support and guidance. To make good, solid choices based on reason, logic and fact instead of emotion and nerves. I don't like confrontation, I'd rather avoid it then face it. Something I'm defiantly not proud of is our financial situation. We have a lot of debt, bad credit and it needs fixed. I will not give up, I will not give in to pressure to just start fresh. My pride won't let me. I will, single handed, if that's what's needed, pull us out of this mess of money and fix it. That is something I can look back and be proud of that, I lived up to my word (even if it took far too long) that I did it. I fixed the problem, instead of shrinking back and letting it win. That is something I long for, something that motivates me. That is something I can take pride in and know it's ok because it's something I worked for, not a gift I've been given with no credit to myself. That is why I show up to work everyday and in 3 months have already upped my pay almost a dollar. I'm proud of how well I do my job, proud that I put away my own personal feelings (for the most part) and do what's best for my family.
Is pride always bad? I think not. Can it be a deep, dark hole that you want to avoid? Absolutely.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Carter's in his crib in his room! I figured that I would get more sleep with him in our room and me being able to just pull him into bed with me to nurse would let me get some sleep while he nurses. WRONG! I did fall asleep but being so close to his favorite food source led to near-constant nursing and having a baby laying next to you makes it hard (for me) to get good sleep. So Sunday night I nursed him and rocked him in his room with the lights off and then laid him in his crib when he was drowsy. That was around 9, I think. The cat jumped on him and woke him up at 11 so I nursed him again, in his dark room, and laid him back down. He was up at 1:30 and 4:30 to nurse then at 6:30 he nursed again in bed with me then I got up and showered and when I got out of the shower he was laying there awake, all smiles.
Last night was even better, in some ways! I got him to sleep around 8:30, he woke up at 11 but I just snuggled him for a minute and he fell right back to sleep. He was up at 2:30, nursed on one side then I went and laid back down and couldn't fall back asleep. I felt ready to start my day, read my book (on my phone), drank some water and then Carter decided he was still hungry so I nursed him on the other side. I finally fell back asleep around 4:30. Carter woke up at 6:30 again, nursed and then played in his swing with his glo-worm while I showered. He was being pretty clingy today so he sat and played on the bathroom counter while I did my hair and brushed my teeth. He loves the mirror and thought it was fun to watch me in the mirror.
It was difficult to drop him off today, he just wanted his momma. He didn't want to swing, jump, play on the floor, just wanted to snuggle me. Made me sad but no tears today! I did shed some yesterday but eh, it's bound to happen sometimes, I guess.
Friday, March 30, 2012
Saturday, March 24, 2012
He loves to eat, loves mum mums, yogurt drops, sweet potatoes, peas, apples, bananas, peas, squash and combo foods. He's not such a fan of green beans, carrots, and meats (jarred). He has eaten toast, french toast, turkey bacon, carrots, green beans, broccoli, cheese, apples, fries, tomatoes, lettuce, chicken, chicken and I'm sure others I can't remember at the moment. He loves feeding himself and it's so cute to watch him chew food up (with his toothless gums) and maneuver it.
He is sitting up really well now, he loves to sit next to his toy basket that is in the living room and pull his toys out. Almost every time he ends up chewing on the basket itsself but it keeps him entertained so I can get things done and he does so well entertaining himself.
He loves loves loves Eva and Elijah! They both love him in return and spend time cuddling him and watch over him all the time. Eva is constantly laying next to his jumper or under his swing or highchair. When he's on the floor she lays out of reach but where she can see him. He loves to pet her and kiss her. I don't much like him kissing her at this point because it's still the mouth wide open kisses.
Carter is so close to crawling. He gets up on his hands and knees and rocks back and forth. He has made forward movement a couple of times but usually ends up sliding backwards. I think he'll be crawling soon! Which means time to baby proof the house!
When I get home from work or in the morning and other times he reaches out for me and rocks his body back and forth and laughs.