Monday, July 8, 2013
Sometimes, the way he is with a baby or his siblings or friends, it makes my heart hurt. He absolutely loves babies, loves playing with kids, although being an only child, sometimes he needs a break and quiet time. That's ok. He loves getting a diaper, wipes, pacifier or toy for a baby. I know he will be an amazing big brother, whenever that time comes and whatever way a baby joins our family.
As he gets closer to two and his personality and intelligence emerges even more, I love him more. I didn't think I could love him anymore, I think all this love is saving up for the teenage years ;-)
I can't express my love and amazement that this little boy is mine. At the same time, I'm painfully aware of all the people out there struggling to have a baby or feeling the pain of a loss of a child, at any number of stages of pregnancy or age or just the loss of hope of a child. I'm one of the blessed one, no matter what my body does or doesn't do, I have my little Carter and I am forever thankful for that. I may mourn the struggle of infertility, I may mourn the fact that I have to work so hard for my kiddo(s) when it comes so easy for others, I may cry for my infertile sisters and fellow cysters but no matter what, I have a deep appreciation for the fact that I have my boy. I've had an amazingly blessed 32 months of pregnancy and parenting and I wouldn't trade it for the world!